My heart’s desire

“Fulfillment” resonates with me.  Because I desire to live the abundant life God has called me to live and to function in my gifting, my calling.  I desire to teach and show others that they too can live the abundant life God has planned for them and show them how to get there.

Growing up a very shy and wounded person, I never spoke to anyone and if I did it was a mere few words.  One day I cried out to God to free me from this bondage. I didn’t want to be quiet!  I didn’t want to be the one who had nothing to say, yet I was so full of things I wished I said. I was looked upon as conceited when I was actually just afraid and fearful.  I didn’t realize it was the “enemy” of my soul who wanted my mouth to be shut.  He knew I’d be a powerful tool for the Lord, but I didn’t.  The enemy’s plan is to keep us Quiet!  When God began to speak to me through His Holy Spirit, things began to change. I began to yield myself and step out in Faith as never before.  Although I was still afraid, I just began to trust that my Father knew best and had already planned out my life before time.  God knew the plans He had for me, and wanted me to come to the understanding and belief of what that was and to walk in it.

Well people, I’m silent no more!  That is broken off my life and I intend to open my mouth and let God fill it!  What others are struggling in or captive in, I want to show them there is more to their life!  So much more!

I love Isaiah 61:1-3 –

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.”


Vision of Heaven

Passing through the hallway I glanced into my nephew’s doorway to see if he was sleeping.  With his head raised staring at the wall, I asked him if something was wrong.  With a worrisome voice he explained that he is unable to fall asleep because of scary images popping in his head.  Kneeling besides his bed I reassured him that Jesus is with him and watching over him and that he had nothing to be afraid of.  Just minutes prior, I had already tucked him into bed and prayed with him.  I let him know I would pray with him again so he would feel comforted.  After I prayed, I asked him to close his eyes and ask Jesus to fill him with good thoughts and show him good things.  To my surprise he answered, “He does”……..

Full of curiosity I asked, “What does He show you?”  “Heaven”, as he smiled.  Oh my, “Really, what did you see?” “A chair.”  Could this be the Throne of God?  By now my eyes are fully lit up, “What does the chair look like?” “It’s BIG.”  “Wow, what else did you see?”  Grinning from ear to ear, “God.”  “Really?!  And what is He doing?” “Sitting on the chair.”   I realized he had been shown something so amazing we only dream or imagine.  “What does he look like?”  “He’s BIG and really white.”  “Wow, did you see anything else?”  Overwhelmed by all these thoughts I visualized every part that he spoke of as if I was there….  “Yes, angels”, still smiling.  “What are they doing?”  As he giggled, “They are all around God.”  “Doing what?”  “Guarding Him.”  By now it begins to hit me like a ton of bricks.  I’ve only read through the book of Revelation several times and the details of ‘The Throne Room’.  How could he know so much?  He is only 5 but what I sensed, this boy has been shown the real deal!  So I ask just for the sake of hearing his answer, “Who told you these things?”  “No one told me”, with the sweetest smile sweeping across his face.  Deep down inside I believed him.  “What do the angels look like?”  “Really white. And heaven is white. Is heaven white Auntie?” full of curiosity.  Thoughts were racing through my head. I’ve only seen a small vision myself of Jesus dressed in a pure, whiter than white robe and two angels standing next to him with huge white wings, I couldn’t see their faces,  and in the background the purest brightest white.  “Tell me more, what else did you see?”  “More angels, lots of them.”  “And what are they doing?”  “They’re singing.”  Blown away and unable to contain it all I pressed for more details but that’s all he could think of at that moment.  Realizing he must be tired I figured I would save my questions for the following day. Surely there was more but I needed to wait.  Then giggling away he said, “I’m going to heaven” so sure of himself and so full of delight.  God must have shown him he was going to heaven.  His finger then pointed right at me motioning back and forth, “And you’re going to heaven”, more giggles.  I was too overwhelmed.  God what else did you show him?  I kissed him goodnight and told him how special he was that God allowed him to see heaven.  He giggled with pure excitement…

That night as I got ready for bed, all I could think about was heaven.  It was so amazing to hear what my nephew saw was exactly spoken of in the book of Revelation, ‘The Throne Room’.

The very next day after work I casually brought up the night before.  “So do you remember anything else about heaven?” His attention was on his toys.  “Tell me about the angels again, what did you see?”  Continuing to play, “Big white white wings but you can’t see their faces.”  “Anything else?” believing new things would be explained.  “Yah”, still occupied.  “What?”  Careful not to place thoughts in his mind, I asked if he saw a light or maybe the sun as I imagined the radiance of God.  He answered, “No, but I see God and He’s Strong, really Strong and Big!”  “What does he look like?”  Reiterating, his focus still not on me, “He’s strong, real strong, and really big.”  “What else?” I thought to myself, he couldn’t have possibly seen his face.  Suddenly he looks at me, his eyes lit up as he smiled, “He’s, bright, bright, bright!”  No doubt he saw the full radiance of God.  “Oh wow and what else did you see in heaven?”  “There’s a table.”  “What kind of table?  Was there anything on it?”  “Yes, a bowl.”  Thinking he said a bull I asked what the bull looked like.  “Nooo, a bowl!”  “Oh! So what was in the bowl?” “Gold.”  This was just more than I could handle.  He spoke so matter of fact as if this wasn’t the first time he saw heaven.  “And there are stars all around the table.  They’re really cool.  But my favorite part is the bowl.  I like the bowl and I like heaven.  I’m gonna go to heaven.”

Have you ever wondered if heaven was real? What does it look like? What does God look like? Is He real?  Revelation 4 speaks of God sitting on the throne and the cherubim and seraphim that stand guarding him day and night, and the 24 elders surrounding the throne dressed in white holding the golden bowls of incense which are the prayers of the saints.  It describes the many angels and how they sing and worship God 24/7.  In the first chapter of Revelation John describes One like the Son of Man whose head and hair were white like wool and Who’s countenance was like the Sun shining in all its strength.  He held the seven stars in His hands which represent the angels of the seven churches.  I challenge you to open your bible and read the account on your own.

Could the brightness of God be so radiant and brilliant that it appears as white?  I believe so.   We can only imagine and hope that the day will come when we will behold God face to face and all His Glory!  Are you ready?

Innocence of Youth

Splattering rain and bursting thunder boomed in the distance….  I was enjoying conversation with family during a visit to my parents home.  With one ear I listened as the chatter and laughter continued and with the other I focused my attention on the activity of the children nearby.  There wasn’t a sound from my 3 yr. old nephew who was entrusted in my care.  Standing up,  I quickly dashed about the kitchen floor shouting his name.  No answer.  My heart began to race…. Where did he go?  Did he wander outside or was he hiding in the house as he so loves to do?

There, he sat in a nearby windowsill, gazing out into the open air.  Why didn’t he answer me?  He knows I do not like being ignored when I call his name.  I watched as he sat so calm and focused.  So deep in thought.  Not wanting to distract him, I quietly ran to grab my camera to capture the moment as he sat peaceful and still, unaware of my presence or was he aware?

As I paused to take the picture I heard, “Come to me as little children and become lost in my presence.”  My heart immediately became overwhelmed by the heart of the Father.  At that moment I just wanted to run into a room, close the door behind me, fall to my knees and weep in the presence of my Father.

His desire is that we be as little children, so innocent without a care in the world.  To be alone with Him.  To hear from Him, learn from Him, receive from Him.  No noise, distraction or busyness around us should be able to steal our focus or attention from the One we gaze our eyes upon.

Life becomes so busy we tend to lose our focus.  There’s no time in a day to put aside and spend time with Him.  We get so consumed with our plans we become disconnected with the plans He has for us.  Jeremiah 29:11-14 says – “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” says the Lord..

Jeremiah 33:3 says – “Call to Me, and I WILL answer you, and show you GREAT and MIGHTY things, which you do not know.”

Will you stop in the midst of all the busyness and come to Him as a child and sit in His presence?

Wilderness Adventure

Today was no walk in the park.  Literally.  Walking a desert trail in the Sandia foothills for 3 miles seemed like an eternity!  It took 2 hours before I returned to the starting point.

Resting at the first picnic table I saw, I took in a deep breath of fresh air and soaked in the valley view before me.  My intention was to just sit, relax, and enjoy the awe-inspiring scenery.  What the heck.  I decided to take a short walk.  No more than 10 minutes at most.  The path was nice and wide.  Passed by a few hikers and bicyclists.  At the first marker I would turn around and head back. Why not keep going…I continued on the path.  Good exercise and a beautiful day, I could go a little further.  How can I get lost anyway? I had the map in hand from the park ranger.  So further and further I went.  My legs began to get sore.  What was I thinking?!  I’m not your everyday hiker.  I didn’t even warm up, so I wasn’t prepped to go any further.  As I stopped to breathe, I panted, looked around, few more bicyclists raced on by.  Wow!  What stamina!  That’s it!  If they can do it, I can do it!  Onward I went…

Taking a right turn at the next marker, the road began to narrow.  Was I on the wrong path? Was this for bicyclists only?  Up and down small hills and valleys, the road seemed to get rockier and narrower.  Desert bushes and trees were closing in on me.   The path was only wide enough for one person.  The sun seemed to fade but it was still daylight.  Should I have taken another trail, or rather, just turned around?  Wait, I was entering coyote and mountain lion territory!  Don’t they come out to hunt at this time in the evening?

Destined to follow a rough-cut path off the trail, I decided to take a shortcut.  No, no, stay on the main path.  The end must be getting closer.  My leg started to cramp pretty good.  What if it cramped so bad I couldn’t make it back?  So I stopped to rest on a large flat boulder.  There was no turning back.  Every bend in the road took me deeper and deeper.  Afraid it would be dark soon I continued on.  Another hill, another dry creek, up another hill.  Each turn I took felt so close, yet so far away.  Didn’t I pass the last sign that pointed in the right direction?  Another shortcut ahead.  No, stay on the path.  There, I could finally see the sun in view.  I was headed in the right direction.  Coming to a fork in the road, I stopped.  Ok the map should be right.  Another marker.  That was it.  The path began to widen.  Large enough for five people to walk side by side.  Nice and straight.  Although it took me another 1/2 mile to the finish, I realized I finally made it through the rough terrain just as the sun began to set.

God spoke to me on my little journey.  It had been an emotional rough day for me.  Praying all day I asked Him for answers to questions I had.  Near the end of my adventurous walk, He said: ‘The road will become rough at times in your life,  there will be times you feel like you are lost and alone, you will go through hills and valleys, face opposition from the enemy, get bumps and bruises along the way, become fearful, want to give up and not continue on, there will be forks in the road, but always remember, I am with you, I will be your strength and your guide, I will never leave or forsake you, I will show you the exact direction you need to take, just never give up, never turn back and always stay on the path I have paved for you.’

As I overlooked the valley view, I stood and paused, choking back my tears as I felt the sun shining upon me.  ‘Now turn around and look where you came from.  You made it through!’

Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Unexpected Request

What did he mean? “Wait for me until midnight and I will come to you.Paused and perplexed I sat and wondered why I should wait for him until midnight.  I questioned the 2 1/2 hour wait.  Should I stay awake?  Did he literally mean midnight or sometime during the middle of the night?  Was it a surprise?  Would he reveal a hidden secret or would I be asked to do something unexpected at such a late hour?  Thoughts were swimming inside my head. Pacing back and forth on my living room floor, I wondered and I waited…  Then it came!  He didn’t just ask me to wait!  He said, “I am coming soon, sooner than you think.  Wait for me until midnight and I will come to you.  Great darkness will fall upon the face of the earth but don’t be afraid, I will come to you.”

Midnight still rang through my mind.  Then I was taken to the parable of the ten virgins:  Matthew 25:1-13.  It became clear —  Midnight: the middle of darkness, wait: hold on, I will come to you: the bridegroom is coming.  In the parable the story depicts 10 virgins who awaited the bridegroom’s return, 5 wise virgins had oil in their lamps (lights burning) who kept them trimmed to burn through the night (darkness) and 5 foolish virgins who did not.  Matthew 25:6 – And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!’

What the Lord spoke to me that night was that many people will let their lights burn out, but those who continue to keep their lights burning while the world grows cold and dark and do not lose hope will see and behold that beautiful moment when the bridegroom returns to sweep away His bride.  We are to be watchful and ready for that day.

Now is not the time to be afraid or grow weary.  Keep your lights burning and hold on for your redemption is very near!  The Lord says: “I Will Come To You.”

Peace through the Storm

Storms come in all shapes and sizes, some big and some small. It’s usually the big ones that are the scariest and can fill us with the most fear.  Depending on the type of storm, it can be over within minutes even days and can be very devastating,  but with every storm it soon will pass.  The same is true when we face trials (storms) in our lives.  Some storms are big, some small, some long and some short.

How you react will determine how you will make it through.  When you are facing a storm in your life, do you fear, doubt, lose hope, start to believe you will not make it through or do you hope, believe and trust God that all will be well?

The bible tells us that trials and tribulations WILL come but to take JOY for Christ has overcome the world.  1 Peter 4:12 says, ‘We are not to count it strange when we face a trial and wonder what is happening but to count it all Joy.’

Matthew 8:23-27 reads,  ‘Now when He (Jesus) got into a boat, His disciples followed Him.  And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with the waves.  But He was asleep.  Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!”  But He said to them, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?”  Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.  So the men marveled, saying, “Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?”

One night as I was traveling with my sister and brother-in-law to New Mexico, I was asleep in the back seat trying to rest before it was my turn to drive.  All of a sudden I heard my sister say, “Oh my God we are headed straight toward a HUGE storm!”  I was alarmed by her words and the sound of her voice, so I opened my eyes and looked straight ahead.  I could see major bolts of lightning flashes like I had never seen before and yes we were headed straight into the storm.  A moment of fear came over me as I remembered earlier that day my boss telling me he would be traveling later in the evening with some biker buddies toward the desert in the same direction I was headed, but decided to take a different route due to a massive storm he heard about on the news.  I silently began to pray, “Lord I ask you to part the storm just as you split the Red Sea for the Israelites to cross over and I speak Your peace to still my heart and let me be at rest just as you were in the boat with your disciples.”  Suddenly an overwhelming peace came over me and my heart was stilled as I closed my eyes and went sound asleep.  Moments later I awoke hearing my sister’s voice (not having heard what I prayed earlier), “Oh my God, it’s like Jesus just split the Red Sea!”  My eyes were immediately opened as I quickly looked to my left and to my right.  There before my eyes I could see flashes of lighting to the far right of me and flashes of lighting to the far left of me.  God did indeed part the storm that night  just as I asked and believed He would and we passed right on through.

No matter what storm you are facing, you too can trust in Jesus.  You can ride on through the storms of this life and be at perfect Peace knowing that Jesus is with you because He is the Prince of Peace and the Lord of Lords and just as He commanded the waves and sea to be still while in the boat with the disciples, you too can command the storms in your life to be still.

u begin to fear, doubt, lose hope, even allow the storm to devastate you.

All Hope Is Not Lost

It was a beautiful summer evening that I decided to go for a drive and look at a house I was interested in buying, so I asked my parents and brother to join me for the ride.   As we drove along the country road we passed a canal where I noticed a young man fishing.  On the other side of the canal was a parked car, a small boy and a few adults who seemed to be his parents.  All of a sudden the thought raced through my mind, ‘They are fishing for their dinner because they have no food.’  You have to keep in mind there are several canals throughout the town where my parents live so it was normal to see people fishing these canals on a daily basis.  We continued on our journey to this house, looked around for a while and headed back home.   The sun had already set and it began to get dark.  As we neared the canal I noticed the same people were still there.  Immediately my heart sank as I felt a sadness come over me for these people, strongly sensing they didn’t catch dinner for the night.  We continued to pass them by and all I could think was, ‘I don’t have any food for them and by the time we arrive at my parents home and try to gather a few supplies they will be gone when we return.’  There was a churning in my stomach and I suddenly remembered that I had a case of Ramen Noodles left in the trunk of my car which I had bought a few weeks prior.  Immediately I told my brother to turn the car around.  He asked,  ‘Why?’  Again I said to him, ‘Turn the car around and go back to the canal!’  He began to turn the car around and as we approached the canal I could see the people were getting into their vehicle and I told my brother, ‘Drive up and park right next to them.’  Jumping out of the car I noticed the man looked somewhat fearful ready to enter his vehicle.  As I walked up to him I began to ask if they needed any help.  The woman sitting in the driver’s side of the vehicle was watching me with curiosity in her eyes while the man pointed to the other side of the canal and said his son was trying to catch fish for dinner and had no luck catching anything.  He continued to share that they had no food and really hoped they would have a catch for the night.  Then I told him I have a box of Noodles and would he mind if I gave it to them. By this time the woman and child inside the vehicle which he said was his wife and younger son, began to make their way around the car.  As we greeted one another the woman and her husband began to thank me trying to hold back the tears in her eyes.  Suddenly the older son was standing next to us full of curiosity.  I turned toward my car and asked my brother to help me pray with the family.  He immediately joined me as I asked the family if I could pray for them, which they gladly accepted. The woman began to cry as I prayed for them and began to share how much God loves them.  Upon ending the prayer the entire family hugged my brother and I thanking us over and over again.  They were so grateful and appreciative you could feel the Hope that suddenly filled their hearts.  My heart was also blessed and touched by the goodness of God.

~*~ The drive across town that day was no coincidence nor planned.  It was a divine appointment set in motion by God who saw the need of those people and heard the cry of their hearts.   There was no way I could have read the minds of those people to know they were hungry trying to catch food for their dinner, but God knew.   How does someone know that Hope really exists if we never step out and do the very thing God is asking us to do?  How does God fill a need unless we are willing to be obedient and fill that need for Him?  Maybe You have been crying out to Him and asking Him to fill your need.  He wants You to know and understand that ‘Yes’ He hears you and ‘No’ All Hope is Not Lost! ~*~